Adoption is a transformative journey, filled with hope, love, and challenges. As adoption expands globally, the media plays an increasingly crucial role in shaping perceptions and influencing the experiences of adopters and adoptees. While some recent stories highlight the complexities and positive aspects of adoption, we have noticed recently how many portrayals remain oversimplified or damaging, which may lead to misinformed views of adoptive families.
Today we will delve into how adoption is depicted across various forms of media and examine the real-world implications of these portrayals.
Adoption narratives in media: A mixed representation
The media has long used adoption as a narrative device to add emotional depth to stories. From films like Lion and Instant Family to documentaries like Twinsters, adoption is often portrayed as a journey from loss to belonging. While these narratives can offer valuable insight into the complexities of adoption, they are frequently dramatised, feeding into stereotypes that can harm adoptees and their families.
In Lion, the storyline of an adoptee searching for his birth family is undoubtedly powerful, but it also perpetuates the common media trope of “being lost and then found.” This narrative overshadows the day-to-day realities of adoption, like the strong emotional bonds within adoptive families, and implies that adoptees may not truly feel complete until they reconnect with their biological roots. Such portrayals, while compelling, can reinforce a sense of "otherness" in adoptees, as though their family life is somehow incomplete without this reunion.
Many popular films and TV shows still portray adoption through outdated or harmful lenses. For example, the movie Orphan (2009) focuses on the adoptive family’s worst nightmare, with an adopted child turning out to be a violent impostor. Though extreme, this kind of narrative creates fear around adoption and contributes to a damaging perception that adoptive children are risky or problematic.
Similarly, films like Stuart Little and shows like The Umbrella Academy depict adopted children as commodities, selected or bought rather than chosen with love and care. This notion feeds into the damaging idea that adoptive parents are “rescuing” a child rather than building a family based on mutual care and affection. It frames adoption as a charitable act or a business-like transaction, which can lead to adoptive families being seen as less valid or less capable of forming authentic bonds.
By positioning adoptive families as a “second choice,” these depictions can reinforce the stigma that adoption is a fallback option, implying that biological families are superior. This perpetuates the false belief that adoptees will never feel fully integrated or accepted, leading to feelings of inadequacy or emotional distance, both for the parents and the child.
At it’s worst, this representation could seep into societal attitudes, where adoptive families face intrusive questions about the legitimacy of their family structure. Parents may find themselves repeatedly explaining that their bonds are just as real, just as deep, and just as permanent as those of biological families, a burden that biological families rarely face. This narrative also places undue pressure on adoptees, as they may internalise the notion that they are “lucky” to have been chosen, rather than valued for who they are as individuals, further complicating their sense of belonging and identity.
These misrepresentations not only impact public perception but can also lead to self-doubt among adopters. Parents may feel pressured to prove their legitimacy as a family or even face uncomfortable questions about their choices. For adopters, media portrayals that idealise or vilify adoption create unrealistic expectations, amplifying feelings of inadequacy when their journey does not match the sanitised or sensationalised stories they see onscreen.
Of course, you may think we're simply reading too much into happy childhood films, but every piece of media contributes to shaping societal norms and framing our understanding of family dynamics. These portrayals, while seemingly harmless or light-hearted on the surface, gradually form the narratives we internalise about adoption and the families it creates. When adoption is consistently shown as transactional or second-tier, it reinforces the idea that adoptive families are somehow “less than” or temporary, which influences how society at large perceives and interacts with them.
Real-world impact: Changing perceptions and policies
The media's influence stretches beyond shaping individual opinions, it can also affect policy and regulation around adoption. High-profile cases of adoption mismanagement, often sensationalised by the press, lead to increased scrutiny and overregulation. This increased bureaucracy can make the adoption process more daunting and difficult for prospective parents, deterring some from embarking on the journey altogether.
High profile cases in the news
One of the most visible ways adoption enters the public conversation is through celebrity stories. When public figures like Sandra Bullock or Charlize Theron adopt, their decisions make headlines and ignite conversations about adoption, especially non-traditional family structures. Whilst these celebrity adoptions help to normalise diverse family configurations, they also can create an unrealistic image of the adoption process. The media tends to focus on the glamour of the celebrity lifestyle while glossing over the emotional, legal, and bureaucratic hurdles that everyday adopters face. This can inadvertently contribute to the perception that adoption is an easy or even fashionable choice, ignoring the deeply personal and often challenging journey that most adoptive parents go through.
The media isn’t just limited to uplifting adoption stories. High-profile cases of adoption breakdowns, or instances where adoptees face mistreatment, have also made waves in recent years, shaping public attitudes in more problematic ways. In particular, stories about international adoption scandals or disrupted adoptions often dominate the headlines, contributing to a sense of risk or unease surrounding adoption.
A key example is the case of Myka Stauffer, an influencer who faced backlash after publicly announcing in 2020 that she had “rehomed” her adopted son, Huxley, after discovering his special needs were more challenging than expected. This story sparked outrage across social media and traditional news outlets, leading many to question the ethics and responsibilities involved in adoption, particularly in cases involving children with disabilities or complex needs. The extensive media coverage of this case also highlighted issues around “adoption as content,” where the personal lives of adoptees are used for public consumption and personal gain, which can further stigmatise adoption when things go wrong.
Read more about the story here.
Systemic challenges
In addition to individual stories, recent media coverage has shone a light on the systemic challenges within the adoption and foster care systems, particularly in the UK and the US. For instance, in the UK, coverage from outlets like The Guardian have highlighted the struggles families face in adopting older children or children with additional needs. These stories bring much-needed attention to the gaps in the adoption system but can also contribute to a narrative that adoption is fraught with difficulty.
The power of representation | striving for a more balanced approach
For adopters, the stories and examples we have discussed today can either inspire confidence or foster doubt. When the media focuses on the complexities and failures of adoption, it can heighten anxiety about the emotional and legal challenges, making prospective adopters feel uncertain or ill-prepared. Conversely, when adoption is portrayed as glamorous or easy, families might not fully appreciate the realities of the process, potentially leading to frustration when their own experiences do not align with the simplified narratives they’ve seen in the media.
To support adopters and adoptees, the media must strike a balance between highlighting the challenges and celebrating the successes of adoption. By offering more nuanced portrayals of real-life adoption stories, including the emotional, practical, and legal aspects, the media can help prospective adopters feel better prepared for the journey ahead. Similarly, giving voice to adoptees and their experiences is essential for fostering a deeper understanding of the lifelong impact adoption has on individuals.
In recent years, some outlets have begun to do this more effectively, offering space for adoptees to share their own stories and for families to discuss the realities of adoption without sensationalism. This is a step in the right direction, but there is still much work to be done in presenting a fuller, more empathetic picture of adoption in the media.
Media outlets, filmmakers, and content creators have a responsibility to present adoption stories with sensitivity and accuracy. This means using the correct terminology, avoiding the use of terms like “real family” when referring to biological relatives, and recognising the unique but ordinary challenges that all families, adoptive or not, face. More inclusive and realistic portrayals would help dismantle myths and encourage society to embrace the diversity within adoptive families.
A call for change
As society’s understanding of adoption continues to evolve, the media must lead the way in fostering empathy and inclusivity. It is crucial for the media to take a more responsible approach, presenting adoption as a complex, but normal and legitimate way to build a family. This is particularly important considering the media’s portrayal having lasting consequences on how adopters and adoptees are seen and how they see themselves. While recent positive stories show progress, many depictions still cling to outdated or harmful narratives, alienating those involved in the adoption process.
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