Many adopted children have experienced trauma, neglect, or instability, which can affect their ability to form healthy relationships and trust others. For parents looking to support their child’s emotional development, Theraplay offers a valuable, play-based therapeutic approach that can help adopted children heal, grow, and thrive.
What is Theraplay?
Theraplay is a form of play-based therapy that focuses on building trust, emotional connection, and attachment between a child and their caregiver. It’s grounded in the idea that play is a vital component of healthy child development, and it leverages interactive, fun activities to strengthen the parent-child bond. Theraplay helps children learn how to regulate their emotions, build self-confidence, and develop secure attachments by engaging in activities that are nurturing, predictable, and supportive.
For children who may have faced early trauma or loss, Theraplay offers a unique opportunity to experience positive, safe interactions that help rebuild their sense of security and trust. By promoting positive attachment through fun, structured play, Theraplay can significantly improve a child’s emotional and social development.
How Theraplay supports adopted children
Adopted children often come from backgrounds that may involve neglect, abuse, or disruption, which can impact their ability to form healthy attachments. Theraplay works by addressing these emotional needs through specific techniques that foster a secure bond between parent and child. Here’s how it can help adopted children thrive:
Building trust through structured interactions
For many adopted children, trust doesn’t come easily. They may have experienced multiple caregivers or have been let down by adults in the past. Theraplay helps to rebuild this trust by using structured, predictable play activities that create a sense of safety. The consistency of the interactions allows the child to begin to trust their caregiver, knowing what to expect during each session. Over time, this trust extends beyond the therapy sessions and into the everyday life of the family.
Example: During a Theraplay session, the parent and child may engage in a simple activity like “mirroring,” where the child and parent copy each other’s movements or facial expressions. The child learns that the parent is reliable, consistent, and safe. Over time, this consistent engagement fosters a sense of security. For instance, Sarah, an adoptive mother, noticed that after several sessions, her 8-year-old daughter, Emma, began to relax and respond to her with greater trust. Emma would now initiate eye contact and give a small smile during playtime, something she had not done before.
Improving emotional regulation
Trauma and instability can affect how children regulate their emotions. Many adopted children have difficulty managing feelings of anger, anxiety, or sadness. Theraplay helps them learn to manage these emotions in a healthy way by providing a safe space for them to express their feelings through play. Through engaging activities, children can learn how to calm themselves, communicate their emotions, and respond to stress in a constructive manner. These skills can be incredibly valuable in daily life, helping children to navigate challenging situations with more resilience and confidence.
Example: In a Theraplay session, a parent and child might engage in an activity where they build a structure out of blocks, and the child has to wait for their turn before adding a block. The parent can praise the child for waiting calmly and reinforce how it feels to control their impulses. For example, when Liam, a 10-year-old who had experienced early neglect, became frustrated during a game, his therapist guided him through deep breathing exercises, modeling how to calm down before continuing. Over time, Liam began using these techniques in everyday situations, such as when he felt overwhelmed at school. His parents noticed that he was less prone to angry outbursts and started handling stress more effectively.
Enhancing attachment and bonding
One of the core principles of Theraplay is enhancing the attachment between parent and child. Adopted children may have difficulty bonding with their new caregivers due to prior experiences of loss or trauma. Theraplay works by encouraging positive, engaging interactions that strengthen the emotional bond between the child and the parent. This can be especially helpful for children who have struggled to connect with their adoptive parents, giving them a way to experience safe, nurturing closeness. The therapy encourages parents to be fully present with their child, fostering mutual enjoyment and connection.
Example: A core Theraplay activity involves “nurturing play,” such as feeding a doll or taking turns caring for a toy pet. In this activity, the parent provides care and affection, helping the child feel safe and valued. For instance, when Mark and Sarah, parents to 7-year-old Emma, started playing a nurturing game where they took turns giving their toy pet a “bath,” Emma was initially hesitant but gradually started seeking physical closeness during the game. Over time, she became more open to physical affection from her parents, such as leaning into them for a hug after a session.
Boosting self-esteem and confidence
Adopted children may struggle with low self-esteem, often due to feelings of abandonment, neglect, or a sense of not belonging. Theraplay helps to boost a child’s self-esteem by encouraging them to succeed in fun, non-threatening activities. The therapy focuses on positive reinforcement, where children are praised for their efforts and achievements, no matter how small. This can help them feel more capable and valued, fostering a sense of accomplishment and self-worth.
Example: During a Theraplay session, a child may be given a task such as stacking blocks or drawing a picture, with the parent offering encouragement along the way. For example, 6-year-old Jake, who was adopted from foster care, would often express frustration when he couldn’t complete a task. His therapist and adoptive mother would praise his efforts, saying, “You worked so hard on that!” and “I’m proud of you for trying again.” This positive reinforcement helped Jake develop more confidence in his abilities. After several sessions, Jake proudly showed his artwork to his parents without hesitation, a marked change from his previous reluctance to share anything.
Facilitating better communication skills
For children who have experienced trauma or neglect, communication can often be a challenge. They may have difficulty expressing their thoughts, emotions, or needs. Through Theraplay, children can learn how to communicate effectively by engaging in interactive play that encourages verbal and non-verbal communication. Activities that involve turn-taking, sharing, and expressing feelings help children develop essential communication skills, which can improve their relationships with others both at home and in social settings.
Example: In Theraplay, children often engage in turn-taking activities that encourage both verbal and non-verbal communication. For example, a child and parent might play a game where they pass a ball back and forth, making simple comments about the game (e.g., “I’ve got the ball!” or “Your turn!”). This helps the child practice both communication and social skills in a fun and low-pressure setting. Aidan, who had been through several foster homes, found it difficult to ask for what he needed. But after a few weeks of Theraplay, he started saying things like, “I want to play, too!” and “Can you help me, please?” His adoptive parents saw this as a major breakthrough in his ability to communicate his needs.
How to incorporate Theraplay into your adoption journey
Theraplay can be an important tool for parents looking to support their adopted child’s emotional development, but it requires consistency and patience. Here’s how you can start incorporating Theraplay into your adoption journey:
Seek professional help
While you can incorporate some play-based activities at home, Theraplay is most effective when guided by a trained therapist. Finding a certified Theraplay practitioner who can work with your child and your family is an essential first step.
Commit to regular sessions
Theraplay works best with regular, consistent sessions. Parents should also be involved in the therapy process to create a strong, secure attachment. Over time, this consistency builds trust, which is key to the therapy’s success.
Focus on the connection
The goal of Theraplay is not just to “fix” behaviours but to focus on building a strong, positive connection with your child. Enjoy the activities together and create moments of shared joy, as this will lay the foundation for a trusting, loving relationship.
Use play at home
Theraplay doesn’t have to be limited to the therapist’s office. You can incorporate play-based activities into your daily routine at home. Simple games that encourage turn-taking, role play, or physical play like tossing a ball or playing hide-and-seek can strengthen the emotional bond.
For adopted children, especially those who have experienced trauma or instability, Theraplay provides a structured, play-based approach to healing. By fostering trust, improving emotional regulation, and enhancing attachment, Theraplay offers a pathway for adopted children to thrive. With the right support, this type of therapy can transform the relationship between parent and child, helping children heal from past wounds and grow into confident, well-adjusted individuals. If you’re adopting an older child or working to strengthen the bond with a child in your care, Theraplay is a powerful tool to consider in your parenting toolkit.
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